I’ve been so good this year. I’ve been thinking about all the cool stuff I’m going to give my family and friends, and I’ve already started shopping. I, on the other hand, really only need one little thing this year.
You see, it all started with traffic. I’m pretty sure there’s a conspiracy to drive people crazy by making light cycles shorter in December. There are just as many people here as there were 3 months ago, so why does street traffic double this time of year? And parking at the mall is nuts. There are thousands of spaces in that lot, and on any given day in August, I can park within 100 feet of any given entrance. But this week, on average, there have been 15 available parking spaces.
It’s no better at home. There’s that crazy tradition of crouching perilously on the roof or stretching off of a ladder to hang a row of ornery lights, that may or may not work, from the gutters. I wasn’t afraid of heights until last year, when I fell off the ladder and missed the brick porch by inches. No thanks. Then, as if that’s not enough for fear, you have to keep the house immaculate and cook like a gourmet chef for the guests! And why is everything on a Christmas tree breakable?
Anyway, all I really need this year is some more time. I understand you’re a man of miracles, so I trust that you can do this for me.
Ho-Ho-Hold it right there, Believer.
Remember that the holidays aren’t about being a magician. You’re only human and it’s the thought that counts.
Oh, and I spoke to your boss. You have Friday off.
And some tips on how to have a good holiday time this year:
- “Make Lists”-They haunt me but I would be lost and INEFFECTIVE without them. Santa is right.
- “Host ONE Big Event”-Bite the bullet for one day and save yourself a hundred visits while welcoming your family and friends into your home.
- “Cut Down on Gifts”-Give Gift Cards, Homemade Stuff (Food is always nice! Who doesn’t like Fudge?), or Framed Photos!
- “Say NO”- You cannot do everything! See Number 2.
- “Put Down the Electronic devices and Talk!”-Talk to each other! Really talk, not mutter under your breath while texting. We have a “No Phones at the table” Policy.
- “Watch One Christmas Movie a Day”-There are some really wonderful Holiday Movies! Sit down as a family and watch one EVERY DAY! Some of my favorites are “Christmas Vacation”, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, “A Christmas Story”, “Four Christmases”, and “Miracle on 34th Street”. You can Google a comprehensive list. Wikipedia has a nice one. Trust me. Your whole family will love it!
- “Drink”-Pick a beverage and nurse it throughout the first two phases especially!
- “Do Something Nice for Yourself”-You deserve it after all you’ve been though in Phase One! How about a massage? Day of Pampering? Nap? Just do SOMETHING!
- “CALL Your Old Friends”-I realize that you probably “Facebook” but try picking up the phone and hearing their voice, like the old days! Ask them about their lives, families, and careers. They’ll love to hear from you and you’ll feel great after each chat!
- “Reflect a Little”-Take it all in and try to enjoy the craziness while reflecting on all that is wonderful about this time of the year. How many more Christmases do you have? They are ALL very precious so treasure this one.